to my 'BRUDDERS' brandon and kunyi (:

for sticking up for me when i least expected it. they were like the last people that i bet would give a damn about me and my stupid personal life. and yet they did. to the point that they'd rather stick up for me and turn their backs on one of their friends whom they used to hang out alot with but did me wrong, to the point that they'd bear a grudge with him for months! it was pretty sometime ago but yeah, i'm just thankful yet guilty at the same time. brandon's the kind of guy whom you'll expect to hear 'knnbccb you fat dick go fck yourself asshole' shooting out from his mouth readily, and would hardly give a shit about some emo like me, yet when he told me 'if anyone bullies you means he's bullying my SISTAH too. tell me and we'll go hoot him' i seriously didn't know whether to cry or to laugh.

i hardly even thought that it was possible that they'd still remember a 'SISTAH' like me hoho. after like three years and when we didn't really talk much besides when being in a group before so it's just really nice to know they care haha. but they kept it from me all this while! however i feel kinda sad because we used to be one whole gang of really good friends, and yet now it's been splitted up so badly it's like they're having this silent war for gawd knows what reason lol.

i'm just surprised that they'd stand on my side and call him a bastard. honestly, no one would really give a damn about it. letting certain people into my personal life is such a big mistake. suddenly having brandon and kunyi giving me their word for protection feels great. it's like i still have someone to lean on.

well but i don't think he's a bastard, she's just the bitch. my views are fckdup, so call me stupid after all that's happened.

thanks anyway, brudders (:

i was talking to brandon, and usually at the very mention of that sensitive topic i'd have a tummy ache and i'd feel very uncomfortable. this time when brandon mentioned it to me, it was different.

i started shaking, as in shivering or whatever you call it, uncontrollably. i can't explain it, but i feel like my body's about to collapse, and it's shaking inside, weak and all. it's kinda like your insides start to twitch really badly, but not till the point where you really jerk and all. i just can't stop feeling like my brain's clogged out and i can't control myself. or is it that i'm too tense till i start to shiver so badly? it's like i've lost it for a moment, and whatever hit me, really shook me hard and i start to feel so unstable.

i don't know but this really freaks me out. all this unexplainable shivering at the very mention of y'know, my body just reacts so wierdly and all. brandon told me something, i'm glad i've got good brothers like him and kunyi. at least it's good to know that i'm not alone facing this (: and that someone is on my side instead of not giving a damn.

i went back to my primary school today, 20% for my teacher and my friends (whom most decided to forget about rss), and 80% for one special person.

but i just it's just a let down every single damned time.

i thought i'd be elated. i was so excited on my way there, trying to keep my smile to myself. i couldn't wait to see that one person, even though if it was just a glance. i told myself i'd be contented with just that. what more could i ask for?

beware, i'm going to contradict myself alot in here.

but it turned out bittersweet. sweet because i got to see the guy who made my heart flutter every single time, and tingle by anything that reminds me of him. bitter because of many things.

he DID NOT want to take a single look at me. nor did he want to say hi. (that bXXXXX aXXXXXX). it was the exact repeat of last year september. wtf is he trying to do? in sms he's totally fine, but in person he tries to ignore and avoid me. come on, IF YOU COULD LIE TO ME, WHY CAN'T YOU FACE ME. it's such a let down that i've spent years on him, only to have he, to end it all with a sour note. does it mean that we'll play pretend and be strangers whenever we see each other in person now? does it mean that only my sms he's able to face me and talk to me? he's still the same, on the outside the cool guy, yet inside, passionate. too bad the other lucky girl got it.

i wonder why does he acts like he doesn't know me. ever since i left primary school, and everytime i went back, i went back just for him. he, and all my other good guy friends were the sole reason why i felt a sense of belonging to the school, the only reason i faithfully come back to visit every year. but because of the cold shoulder, i am forced to stay away and go along with other people whom i just can't tell, and can't make them understand, that whenever i go back, i just wanna hang with his group. i want to talk to them and see how they've been getting along, and joke and hang out like we all did before. i guess it's never going to be possible. i can never go up and talk to them anymore. i wonder whatever happened to the six (now nine) years of friendship.

every year i sob over this stupid small matter which i guess he on the other hand, might not even give a damn about. i get moody over the fact that things have changed now and that this wall has been built up between us. does it mean that i'll only get a proper talk when we're not face to face? and i go back to school, and pretend like i'm all over the whole thing, talk and laugh loudly, have a short glance for about a few seconds, and go off silently (not by my will). because i can't tell any of my friends that i want to stay. a glance is all i asked for, but yet i get upset by just that glance. what more am i asking for?

i can't tell my friends the real reason i'm going back for. maybe the day he decides not to come back to visit, i shall not too. but maybe, i might still go back, just to relieve the memories, (though contradictingly the school's been reconstructed and hardly anything familiar remains), and just to feel close to his school. and to show that i'm still waiting, at the sole place where the most memories of him remains.

and i can't understand why i can't move on, and keep harping on this what-i-think is the just-perfect-for-me one, yet let me down so badly.

and i shall decide, the next time i go back, no one shall follow me, and i shall sit by the gate all by myself, watch him enter and stay till the time he leaves, before i head home. even if he doesn't give a damn and does not look at me. i don't care.

i don't know what i'm doing. i'm wasting precious time.

meanwhile, my tablet is cool, but it sucks whenever i use it at home as we currently don't have a wireless network connected in my house. so rawr, i play with what, microword? bleah. and the battery life is just way too short. nyah, whateverr. but i like doodling on it. one day imma draw my masterpiece on it hoho!

and there you have it (;

yay i finally got my tablet pc! <3

and i squeak.



i'm sick and going to be down with a fever and i have a terrible voice now. it's like, i can't even talk to people normally without croacking and sounding like i'm a guy under going a voice change ahaha.

apart from that, tj's got a carnival tomorrow and imma dye my hair BRIGHT RED! :9 hoho.

i've left a few messages for a few people in primary school. it's been ages since i caught up with any one of them. and it's funny how i value my primary school life so much. it's different from secondary school. that's like i-miss-those-times kinda thing, but primary school's more like special-childhood-memories. and i can't explain why is it so special. and yah, why do i feel more connected to my primary schools mates? it's like, i have a soft spot for them and i feel happy whenever i talk to them, even though i wasn't from their class or anything. in secondary school, it's like i'm only really bonded to my classmates and team, and anyone else out of that is just a bit more than strangers. bleah, i feel like a can trust my primary school mates and that i really know them and i find it wierd! most people probably have forgotten about the life and people in primary school, and value their secondary school life more. i dunno, i must be the wierd one. i'm always the wierd one screwwww me.

and i fugging need my tablet pc now! i cannot wait till tuesday or wednesday. i would have died of anticipation by then. *moans like a dying cow* T-T

and! it seems like i have so many projects but i have started on none yet. wtf? my assignments are doing okay, just that for maths homework i have a serious big shytty problem. WTF'S WITH SETS? it's like my maths teacher has a super powered brain controlled by chocolates (er? that was random hah) and i don't hmph. >:[

and and! i absolutely am on the verge of giving up. since monday i was told to finish up my jap essay and like these 25 pages of homework and i'm like @@;; WTFKNNLAH. till now, i have like done, FIVE! *beams* failure lah. i'm never gonna be able to pass it up by tomorrow. it's like i've missed four [HELL LOADS OF ENRICHING ENLIGHTENING JAPANESE GRAMMAR AND VOCABS] lessons and i'm never gonna catch up again! *goes to a corner and sulks* it's too much and i have no time. one page takes me like 15-25 mins, but 25?! i can finish up by next christmas. plus, i bet everything is wrong. i haven't got about to study that one chapter that i missed dammit. but i am seriously not quitting jap no matter how many people tell me to do so. uh-uh, NEVERRRRR!

oh, my history teacher is like 10000000*draw more zeros yoruself* times better than my last year one! plus, he's cute, and lelly is so obsessed over him nyaha :3 for me, i think my vball coach's second assistant is eye candy RAWR! and biology lessons are seriously quote eran: STIMULATING XDDD bwaha. i mean, hell yeh fun! love love love the experiments. and honestly, the week's lessons are really slack. unlike the days of *scary music please* dhs! XD

and i can't wait to go back to rss! ima drag anyone [ANYONE!] that's available to go tm and catch a movie with me! hurhur (: bloody shit i'm using all these colourful language and being so animated today. i haven't felt so high in a long time! missing 2G is like depressing me whatever. i wanna give a big hug to all my 2G mates! and and i wanna have dinner at the usual kfc like we used to and wreck havoc there and tear it down! i haven't spazzed for a looonnng time. in class i'm like, ZOMBIECOOL y'know.

blah and i forgot the main point of this entry! oh ya. bloody jap class and teacher. and i wish jimmy would stop talking to me during jap class. he's like influencing me to slack and not pay attention! *pushes the blame XD* i am supposed to by the nerdiest and the smartest and the most hardworking and the pia-est student in the class! nuh-uh~. 8)

yesterday there was vball training. and since the standard position for playing vball was like half-squating, we did it for two hours and HOLY, my thighs, calves, arms shoulders and back are aching very badly. VERY VERY BADLY.

okay, but it wasn't as bad as badminton's first training, where two months of no training nor exercising led to a difficulty in walking up and down the stairs. hah. like some crippled lmao.

today, we had mass pe. oh man. we ran right up to lucky heights and back down again, about a total of 2.2km. i was pleased that i was one of the first fews to be back, especially when our batch was running with the year one batch. i pushed myself hard, and told myself that i gotta gain back my stamina lol. but it was tiring. we had to run up this slope which i swear was about 30 degrees slant, and i had no idea how tough running up slopes can be. it's like your legs refuse to move, and there's this invisible force pulling your legs back, making you feel like giving up and just walking up. but michelle chiong-ed up cause she didn't wanna stop, so heck, i followed. but i was already tired out. coming down the slope, i was still trying to catch my breath that i thought that i might as well just roll down the slope lol. and to think kelly cheated lah. didn't even ran up lucky heights lol. lucky heights shall be a familiar name from now on, i guess we're gonna do alot of running and training. oh well, i guess that's why tj students are sooo sooo fit hehe.

when we came back, i caught my breath for a few minutes before we had to do these exercises like push ups, crunches, and some other stuff to train our abs and hemstrings lol. it's a pretty good exercise, but the day before i already did like what, 50 squats, 45 push ups and sit ups during training so my tummy hurt. but i didn't really die while doing it lol. i think my stamina's still around (: i shall run faster next time ya.

nothing much happened, and i was dozing off in maths and history lesson. especially maths. my brain always automatically shuts off though i try not to.

oh yes, my tablet is coming next tuesday or wednesday! ZOMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO GET IT! *spazzes and hyperventilates* NANANA~

& here's 1F'o6 for you! :D

well, it's more like the first day i decided not to roam around after school and come straight home (:

saturday, i went out with kelly and she taught me maths. i did learn a BIT, but kelly's big mathematical brain is too complicated and too superb for me, so i think i'll stick with my alphabets, and she with her numbers lol. i can never figure out how fast her brain can work so logically lmao. and there was this question which we were trying to figure out how to solve it, but it was hilarious; okay maybe kelly's brain isn't 100% perfect all the time when it comes to maths hah.

after page one of calculations,

and page two of calculations,

apparantly we were back to the SAME SQUARE EQUATION AGAIN WTF. and we spent one hour on it hah. what nutheads.

oh, i told you i failed my current affairs test right.

and it reads 16/60 (: but now when i come to think of it, it's a pretty cool score, considering that kelly got 4 XD

and then at night, i accomplished great feats (: and i do not do these great feats all the time. i do them like, annually? haha, it's rare that i get inspiration to complete them, and it's like two weeks before cny lol.

i transformed THIS,

TO THIS! :D

and a lil something extra too (: my wardrobe used to be five times messier than this. you couldn't see any STACKS of clothes. all you see are like clothes bundled together to form what seems like a big bed sheets and thrown all over the drawers hah.

and on sunday, i met up with my beloveds, kelly, yanting, qian and zying. ah, it's been a while since we all went out together and talked and spazzed over a meal. i miss them a bijillion loads <3 and it was qian's birthday (: hint hint, mine's on a sunday too lol.

monday i rushed back to dhs to meet my mates, and it was worth it (: i caught up with ex-classmates like guorui, loo xc, chingsiang, hanni, suyun, tiffy and many others. i was estatic to see them again! :D very very. and after that day, i can't help but think about it all night, and 2G's a real fab class, and will never be replaced. i can't wait to see them again next tuesday. i am so damn thrilled and i anticipate the next time we reunite (:

then rushed down to bishan for japanese, and found out that sensei has finished teaching a whole big chapter of japanese. great, i missed it all, in 4 lessons that i didn't turn up. now i have two japanese essays to write, and like a freaking lot of worksheets to do, and with a common test coming up. i'm so lost i can barely catch my breath considering that i have lots of projects that i need to finish up too. faaaaggggggg. then i came home with jimmy and finished up my jekyll&hyde book. phew, i have no idea what it's all about x)

tomorrow japanese, and i barely touched my homework.

i had my first test -- current affairs. and I FAILED IT AHAHAHA. ZOMFG LIKE 16/60?! but no worries 'cause everyone in my class failed except this one guy, but he passed by this really small margin. XD LOL.

today morning was like the freakiest ever. we had swimming grading. had to report to the swimming complex in our swimsuits and blah blah they grade you and stuff. i think i'll go into the beginners course though i know how to swim =1 but i'm not sour over that 'cause i don't like swimming anyway, i like playing with water better (: but i HATED the whole thing.

- cause like everyone is like staring at you in your swim suits and it's like bloody embarrassing. and i feel so uneasy. and i think like probably only kelly knows that i get really traumatised and uptight when many people stare at me, i think i'd probably end up getting fits or something lol. i specially went to buy a new swim suit cause i haven't swam in years, so year the swim suit was er, yah revealing and i seldom show skin so yea, i nearly like DIED it was so embarrassing.

- it was freaking cold. from the time i took off my shirt till the time i changed back it was totally freezing. whether in or out of the water. i was shivering so badly and the moment the teacher told us to swim i really swam. swam as in like omg-wtf-water-so-cold-quick-swim&get-out-of-water-dammit. XD LMAO. and the water was ice cold i couldn't breathe or catch my breath properly when i was swimming. it was like my lungs were contracting so bad.

- and also cause i have a phobia of dunking my head under water because of a personal experience. yeah so i was like the only idiot with my head above the water. I AM SERIOUSLY FRIGHTENED OKAY. anything, but dunking my head under water. gawd, it freaks me out like i will die or something O_o;;

we didn't have time to change or bathe properly, i just shampoo-ed my hair then change pretty undecently. like, cedar-style LOL. the girls there thought me how to do it, but it was pretty awkward lah cause the swim suit was like sticking to my skin lol.

then we got cheated by this cabby when we cab-ed back to school as we were late for maths lessons already. hell, i don't know wth the math teacher is talking about, i must be like the only one sleeping and dozing off lol. and it's not like i didn't try. i tried talking to myself and even try to do my homework to keep me awake during the lesson but it's like one minute i THINK that my mental calculations are correct and the next minute after i open my eyes again the next thing i know that i just wrote all my equations, illegibly. LOL.

and, i think my history teacher is pretty cool. and my friends think he's good eye-candy (: no further details given hah. be jealous of me hoho.

ooh and i think i love biology class! (: my teacher's such a sweetie-pie and she's so sweet and funny awww. today we were like trying to give names to our various groups, and we wanted to be united and call ourselves like neutron, proton, electron etc etc, but since one group decided on calling themselves DUMPLINGS, the rest of us decided to be DIMSUM-ORIENTED LOL. so we have names like CHAR SHAR PAUS, SIEW MAIS (my group lol), and names like HAR GAOS. XDDD it was uber hilarious to hear the names lol. one group was called 'the 4 bimbos' and there's like a poor guy in the group lol. so they decided to make him the leader, and he's thus known as the BIM KING X)))) OMFG. i was laughing my head off in the class. and we decided on a punishment that we have to carry out when we didn't hand up homework on time. and guess what it was? SING THE COLLEGE ATHEM WHILE DOING PUMPS XD AHA. but of course, it only applie dto the guys, so us girls conspired to steal their homework so that we can get some entertainment in bio class. ooh bio's gonna be so fun! 8D

after school i had vball training. wasn't too bad, it was pretty slack and fun, much less strenous than badm, but i guess like the whole time we were doing half squats so that's the only time where it was so tiring. but my arms don't hurt (: holy, vball's fun, and i shall learn how to spike properly though i may be too short to do a decent one LMAO.

so till then, ciao. i shall grumble somemore before getting started on algebra homework, which of course, a maths retard like me can't possibly understand. i know like, totally 0% of everything taught. i badly need help.

wasn't too bad (: pretty slack day. lang arts, break, maths, science then lunch, civics then contact time. bah, but tomorrow there's chinese T-T first day of school and i already have math homework! *moans like a dying cow*

okay, my CT miss nansi is so freaking hilarious! she's like, a teacher whose lessons i will so look forward to (: i bet it'll be interesting and all yah. she makes me laugh millions hoho :D

my maths teacher seems like a nice guy. from dhs too (: i think he'll be like the really nice teacher who will help me out and explain things out clearly for a maths retard like me. seriously i'm hopeless at numbers i can just go back to primary school. i shall aim for at least a B (:

had physics in the lab later. i plopped onto my chair and blah, i fell asleep. yah, the teacher's like boring. but at least we get to go outdoors and do experiments with my mates will make it more interesting? hope so. please i don't wanna fail any component of science @@;;

jimmy told me that he's missed two chapters of japanese already. WTF!!! means i've already missed like FOUR DFHDFJF CHAPTERS OF JAPANESE?! how the hell do i catch up omfg omfg omfg. i must do well for the upcoming common test lah. i shall work very very hard (:

after that i went for vball tryouts. okay so call me fickle minded and indecisive, but i think i'm leaning more to vball side already, rather than hockey and badminton. cause i played vball before and so yeah, nothing new to me unlike hockey, just that i gotta train my skills. so for now i shall stick to vball and go for japanese yeh (: next target, i hope that by 3 months i'll be able to get selected into the school team heh (:

omg i saw this billabong pencilcase at parkway and i MUST have it! cause everytime i see something new and i like it alot, i must have it ASAP lawl. i shall try all means to get it tomorrow cause school ends early for me hurhur :]] but blah the $. i think i'm becoming a spendthrift SHOOT ME.

well it may be the first day of formal lessons but guess what! i got class group photos (: ms nansi put us into fixed groups and we're supposed to stick to this grouping for the whole of term one. and yeah, she told me to take the group photos so that she can remember our names (: so, here's 1F in our project groupies!

elstan, kimberly, jennifer & xiuwen

eran, coco, beatrice & gv

girish, michelle & xiaowei

isabella, bala, krislyn & xinci

joella, eastina, dawn & jimmy

siva, OMFG LOOKIT THAT SHORTIEEEE! (me lah), julia, zhen yi

and yay! that's 1F'o6 baby. 8D

i don't know what i'm fed up about.

if only someone would care to listen to me. but i hate being all emo, whimpy and whiny. i think that's all just weak. there's bigger things in life to be emo about. however it seems like guys like that kinda girls right? the soft-hearted kind who whines and keeps saying that they're broken and hurt blah blah blah. guys feel like they need to protect them and give them the security they need ain't it? awww the lucky girls. (so poor thing narhx)

i don't wanna be one of them. &whether i am one of those girls on the inside or not, it doesn't matter and no one needs to know.

i wish you could stop bringing her up in front of me, 'cause it messes me up even more and i ain't over it. and i admit it. for now, i'll leave it to time cause i can't do it by myself.

_|_ , my brain gets fckdup once in a while and it's not like i can help it.

edit//
my table is waiting for me to clear it up. there's a pile of papers sprayed across, with stacks of files and books at the side, then there's the ever messy little stuff that i display all around my table. also counting the presents and even doodles that remind me 'oh i wrote this at that (specific) time' and i clearly remember how it felt then. there's too much stuff lying around. and all the little things that bring back memories, i just dump them on the table at a corner cause i didn't know what to do with them.

i'm afraid to clear up the mess. i'm afraid to flip and come across the stuffs that remind me of the past. who knew when did i become such a coward? i'd rather leave it there untouch but acknowledge it's presence. the thing that i'm more worried about is, that i don't know what to do with the old stuff. i don't want to throw them away. but how to you tidy things up without throwing things away? i just refuse to pack those memories. &i don't know why either.

but it's not like anyone knows what sense i'm trying to make of myself here. so there.

yesterday i had this dumb workshop until 5pm @@;; gawd it was boring, but nevertheless more interesting than the workshops in dhs? 'cause we get to get up and do activities and move our fingers around a bit, and not just sit there and listen to the person talking for like 354369 hours then stone and sleep. but yah, though we had 'games', they were pretty lame. hah, so much for like a one or two minute high =1

after that i had training. yes immediately after school i had training, till like NINEpm O_o WTF. and it's hard to believe that i survived. 'cause i haven't been training for like sooo long. and i swear my legs were like jelly and so wobbly that i couldn't support myself up. seriously felt like giving up. their pt is like so much harder and tougher. they just keep going and going and running and sprinting and running again and train so much other things, right before even proper training started. now my body's like aching so badly i feel like i should be bedridden or something. i lost my touch already, and it's like starting from scratch yet again. bah.

and after training i was so bloody hungry that i had gastrics. rushed over to mcdonalds at the bedok interchange and ate my fill. oh man, if training always ends so late, how in the world do the people gather time to finish their homework? it only means slogging more during the weekends. like hello? as if the weekdays aren't even hard enough. i don't know what's up with me but my mindset has been all wroung. all i think about is play, enjoy, play and enjoy, nothing about working hard when i promised myself to. this is bad.
and so far i've missed 4 fricken japanese lessons. FOUR. and i heard that a common test is coming up soon. great, and i only can start next week. but hell, what's my class?! -______-"

then D changed his number. added him back and talked a bit. tried asking him which pdp should i join, cause i'm in such a dilemma now whether should i give up badm or not or just try something new like hockey. it's been fugging bugging me for two months already, and i still have no answer. the teacher wants my answer by thursday wtf? i seriously can't give it. i tried to weigh the pros and cons, and piorities blah. TRUST ME I REALLY DID THINK IT THROUGH SERIOUSLY ALOT OF TIMES. i don't wanna make another decision and regret. i hate regrets. though i had thought about it alot, i still coudn't give any answer cause i'm tied down by my piorities, and pulled back by my morals, like if i give up, i would be wasting it all. yet i myself want to try something new. usually D's pretty opinionated and has a strong stand, (or maybe it's just those days when we were closer that he cared more so give better advices whatever LAH i dunno) but he just told me to do whatever i want, much to my disappointement. but i guess he would be leaning more to hockey, because he mentioned that we are still young, and we're not gonna be athletes when we grow up, so we might as well do whatever we want and let no one stop us. so does he mean trying something different like hockey? he's quite right, but i'm not thinking that far as to be using it as a career, but i could do my part and earn glory for the school at least. i've got 4 years to train, so who knows how well i'll do for either sport? i've been leaning more to hockey all this while, cause i feel like i won't be able to cope with badm. yet everytime i go for trainings, i feel like i have a duty and a responsibility to uphold. GAWD THIS FRIGGIN SUCKS. *bangs head* honestly, i'm such a sucker to whatever he says. i think if he asks me to be a doctor ima whoop my ass into the best science class right away.

just random, cause i feel like telling the world, _|_, i'm so fed up.

today's a holiday, and i badly wanna go buy the fricken bag and shoes that i've been eyeing on. but my mom won't let me knn. so i shall waste my time as home sulking. i need to find a way to get my stuffs quick! i'm impatient and my hands are itching to get new goods. you see, the hols with no homework does no good to me, but i like. i suddenly don't feel like going to school pffft. i feel like roaming orchard and finding work to do. i dunno if it's the class or what but yeah i just don't have a clue. AND I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE NO CLUE!

(when charlene's fed up she doesn't know what she's saying and her sentences have much more decor hah)

the mass dance songs are all stuck in my head. and everytime i hear let's get retarded i have an urge to get up and start dancing to it lol, and probably mess up the parts at the second verse and everything else after the chorus hah. and then there's dhoom. i can't help but start to bob my head front and back and side to side to the beat lol. x) how retarded, yeah.

holy i just remembered that tomorrow is monday? oh no, means no sleeping late and there's school tomorrow. i miss the holidays when i had not a single sheet of homework and i just spend the days slacking online, hanging out and shopping, and watch tv like the whole day and munch on snacks without a care in a world that i'll have to exercise and keep fit. grrr.

i don't know if i should go for badminton 'trials' tomorrow or go for japanese lessons. heck, i don't even know my new class can. so i'm supposed to bring my jersey, towel, racket, shoes and everything as well as my japanese textbooks and prepare to either sweat it out during training tomorrow or travel like to the other end of the country and go for lessons? bah. so tiring. and speaking of that, i'm so off form already. i think my muscles have all turned back into fat and my stamina has like dropped to zero. i seriously need to start to at least keep my stamina up. then again, hmm, i wonder when's the hockey trials. i badly hope that i can get in. okay, i'm unloyal, my bad, come whack me.

saturdays and sundays are just freaking boring. cause i stay home and eat all day and do nothing. i wanna wait till it's a weekday and if school ends early i wanna go out and shop. i've already have in mind what i want for now. in the meantime, i shall start saving (: oh yes, i shall drag kelly along with me. clene can't live long without having regular spazzing sessions with lelly :D

OUT.

i swear that the past one week i was just too tired and busy with TA's orientation to update. seriously, i thought that a week of orientation is kinda too long, and too tiring, though fun. like three full days would be enough, but apparrantly we had 5 days of it. so yeah, i was absolutely dead beat to crawl and use the computer. simply plonk, and ima reunite with dreamland. but it's a good thing that i've been tired out? the holidays really messed up my sleeping pattern, and with all the insomnia i could hardly sleep. so good, i hope this can resume my normal sleeping patterns.

what a whole lot of bullshit for a short introduction. okay, so life in tj's so far has been not bad. pretty good and all. the environment i get there is really fresh, fun and interesting. however if only i could bring 2g with me. i swear we would be the best class and rock the whole tj down with our funky exotic wierd ideas. LOL. and it's a 100% fact about that. i miss 2g hell loads. without them, even though it rocks over at my side, it's just okayish only. i often find myself wondering what are my classmates doing over at their side, and think whether do they miss 2g as much as i do. i had a great start here, but it's just different cause i gotta start from scratch again, and i've to balance my time with my new friends and old friends. gawd i miss tiffy, zying, eunice and all the other gay people in 2g no matter how nerdy and wierd they are. and yes, that includes 2g's spastic maths rep. i also miss sitting next to kelly, yixian, and going out for recesses with yanting and qian though they're all in tj too. i can't go high and spazz around like i usually do in dhs. this, may and may not be all negative though.

right, so on tuesday, i had my second day of orientation. i knew my class a little bit better but i still couldn't match the faces. i merely just spoke like a few sentences to them and tried to open up. hard for me to do but still, yeah like i said i had to start from scratch so the least i could do was to be friendly and say a hello and introduce myself, awkwardly. we wore our cool orientation tees (:, there's a damn cool temasek file too, so lovely that ima carry it to school! LOL. cheered and played alot of ice breaking games. we were all still kinda quiet, and our cheer wasn't very loud. and the more outgoing ones spoke up more. the rest were like old-school-sick or something, prefered to keep quiet and just stare. yeah one of them was me, cause i was like alone in my class, none of my friends were there with me. we made our class flag, based on the theme on the king of athens called theseus. er, whatever la. then they taught us mass dance! <3 seems ="1"><" after that, we did more mass dancing on other songs like larger than life, but really, we didn't learn much at all cause there wasn't a proper place and time to learn the whole thing. and that's the end of the bloody long day. thursday! mass danced again. to dhoom. it's a really cool song, and we gotta dance it in a couple. but heck, i partnered kelly. but i was standing at the back, so i couldn't really see anything. didn't learn much of that song too, but dhoom's a really nice indian-like song (: the ogl who danced it were like super pro. and we also danced to let's get retarded! it's the only song that i really learnt the whole thing lol. but i can only remember the exact dance steps sequence till the chorus though. after that i need some help XD yay second song i can dance to! (: after mass dance we had wet games! and it was a rainy day too. we were all like wet and throwing water bombs at everyone including the ogls. had chilli-water bombs too ewww. then we played with flour, and went into the mud barefooted to play dog and bone. like it wasn't gross enough, the ogls added water to make the field slippery @@;; man. had captain ball's match with the other classes too, and our class came in second. not bad eh? by this time people were all talking more to each other, it's a good sign. then after dinner, we played CSI. the ogl's told us some realy true ghost stories about tj too. oh man i don't wanna think about it, it seems really creepy lah. but the CSI was fun, cause it was at night and it was really something different from the normal games. it was up to us to believe who was wrong and who was saying the right things, and yay we guessed the murderer correct in the end ^^v friday the last day! sat for long boring lectures in which i really slept through them. we had most of the time that day to start on our musical/skit that we were supposed to perform later for the grand finale. came up with some really gay ideas for the musical lol. and i say it was really successful to come up with something good so last minute and within two hours. good work, people (: it's just like 2g when we first started. we always did last minute things but yet came up with something creative hoho. mass danced again before dinner. we had pizza! ooh <33 then for the O' night! six classes crammed up into the dance studio. cheering their lungs out. i thought i was going to go deaf in there lol. we performed out skits! i thought our musical was one of the better ones hehe. other classes did different genres like kiddy show, kunfu movie, chick flick, mushy romance, documentry and of course our musical lol. i think our musical was pretty gay, and we did a good performance (: however we didn't end up as the best CG for orientation '06, but that's okay, give our class some more time and i think we'll be really good. we seem to be united pretty well. oh yeah, and we're LOUD now. a big improvement since the first day. i laughed my ass off at other classes' skits lol. and i guess that's all we had for the O'night? but it was the most fun of the whole orientation. when the whole year one TA gathered together, we were like really bonded (: the jc1s however were in the hall cause they're a much bigger group, and they even got a live band to perform for their finale. sounds really cool. why doesn't TA get that too? awww. maybe next time during our TA night we'll make it really cool with live bands and all (: so that sums up the whole week? (: next week i got a few more workshops to attend before official lessons start on wednesday. i anticipate that cause i think it'll be fun (: and the ogls of 1F were really great. love oliva, marcus, nadia and kumaran for being such great ogls for our class! (: <3 made our class really lively and a great sport heh. will miss them hoho. yup, it's a not a bad start after all (: i hope 1F will continue to unite and be the best and wackiest CG among the year ones ya? :D

one last thing, i miss 2g'05 (8 much loves <3>


HAPPY 2oo6 ! <3